Proved By My Trials, I'll Be Nearer, Yet Nearer to Thee

Hey Family!!

This week was good. We had yet another super prepared person drop off the face of the earth:/ Its crazy how often that happens to us. But we did get a message on facebook from a lady that we taught when we very first got to this area. She told us how she was pretty skeptical when we were teaching her, but that she is so thankful that we taught her how to pray because prayer has helped her through the terrible trials she has faced these past months. She said that she knew we came into her life right at the right time and for a reason, and she wants to meet with us again!

We also had interviews with President Cusick this week. It was just what I needed. We sat down, and he brought up the topic that he knew I needed to talk about but would never bring up on my own. We had a very good chat, and he gave me some great advice. I definitely came out of that uplifted, and a little less scared of him :p

So transfers are this week, and yes, I am gone! Kicked out. Sister Johnson is kicked out with me. So is Sister Rhodes! I wont know where I am going until Thursday though. So probably hold off on letters... oh wait no one writes me letters ;) ...LOVE YOU ALL!!

When Sister Johnson and I read the email that said we are getting transferred, it only confirmed what I already knew :) I had a feeling that I would be. She and I talked about how we are ready for a new start. Our journey here in Seminole has not been an easy one. But yesterday in church, my last Sunday with this ward, I realized how sacred this place is to me. I loved Tampa 4 because the members were wonderful, and we saw so many miracles and a lot of success. But Tampa 4 doesn't compare to here.

I'll explain... Here in Seminole I have faced some of the most difficult heartaches, disappointments, and discouragement. I have had my patience tried and tested to the breaking point. I have seen very, very few fruits. And there were many times that I felt that I wasn't doing any good. I wasn't making a difference for anyone. But this place is so sacred to me because I have learned to trust God. Totally and completely. Whatever He asks, I know that I can do, and I will do it willingly. In the midst of my trials and tests, I have come nearer to God and Christ than I ever could have teaching 40 lessons a week, and baptizing nations.

I was reading a scripture today that explains that a little more. Its in John 15:2. Christ is speaking to his disciples and teaching them that He is the vine, they are the branches, and God is the husbandman. In verse 2 he says:

Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

In the footnote for "purgeth" it says purifies or test.

So when we are fruitful, God tests us, He refines us, because He knows that we can bring forth even more fruit!

It makes me think of a washcloth. You wring out a soaking wet washcloth and you get lots of water. But we all know that if we wring it out again we can get more water. No matter how many times you wring the cloth, there is always more water in there.

When we are doing good things, God allows a trial to come our way. Not to make things hard, but to make us more fruitful. He knows that we are capable of so much more! He knows there is more water in the cloth. God is wringing us out! And he has certainly done so for me in this area.

Seminole is always going to hold a very special place in my heart because of the person that I have become. In preparation for interviews, President had us answer a few questions that we could discuss with him. One of them was "What kind of missionary do you want to be by the end of your mission?" And the follow up question, "What are you willing to give up or change to get there?" That hit me so hard! I was trying to really answer these truthfully and prayerfully.

And I knew that I would be able to give up anything that God asked me to.

That's big, guys. This coming from the girl who is always right, even when she is wrong! This coming from the girl knows best, always, even when I don't. I am so prideful, you guys! So prideful. My way, or the highway! All the time. I've always been that way. I've always been the type that is obedient because I have to be. I've always been a good girl, because I didn't feel like there was another option. I get that there was, but to me there wasn't. I was never obedient just because I loved God.

But the atonement of Jesus Christ has truly changed me. I will do anything that God asks me to because I love Him and I trust Him. Heck, I gave up peanut butter and yoga pants!! I love peanut butter and yoga pants! But I love God more.

Now I'm not saying this because I'm so awesome and great, but because I know that the enabling power of the atonement is real. I already knew that the redeeming power was real. I knew that I could be cleansed from my sins. But now I know that I can be made better through Christ.

I realized this week that eight months isn't enough. I don't want to go home in eight months. That's too soon. I love being a missionary! For the past ten months, all I have wanted to do is just finish this already so I can move on with my life! But I don't want to go home... That's big too.

I know that the Atonement makes us better. I know that trials make us better. I know that God knows best. I know that He loves us. I know that He listens when we pray to Him. I know that this is Christ's church. And we are so blessed to be a part of it. And I know that everyone on earth needs to know this.

I love you all:) I'm so excited and ready for this new adventure. I'm so excited to see how God is going to make me into GOLD this next transfer.

Love always, Sister Rowland

These are some pictures from their Mission Christmas party last week :)